The Joy of Reading: Sustainable Youth Ministry by Mark DeVries

Sustainable Youth Ministry by Mark DeVries is the fifth book that I read during the break and is also a text for the class I’m helping with. If you are a part of a search committee, pastoral leadership team, deacon board, youth ministry team/staff, a good ol’ fashioned nosey church person, or a church staff member you NEED this book. It offers invaluable information that you need to know. Much of it you have probably heard and refused to believe. If you, or your church, are too stubborn to utilize the consulting resources your denominational agencies offer the least you can do is read this book and gain some minimal clarity about the ins and outs of a “Sustainable Youth Ministry.”


Mark DeVries and I have never met face-to-face; however, I know we’d be best friends! He believes in the same kind of youth ministry I believe in and even uses the term I thought my New Pleasant students coined, “youth family.”

In the book he addresses everything from documents you need within a youth ministry, to how to create the right atmosphere, to how to keep the ministry going with or without a hired youth director. Everything from the behind the scenes details to the wide open in front of everyone details are addressed. It is a great handbook for those that oversee the hiring, evaluating, and “firing” of staff. And it’s a great text for youth pastors to read too.

In light of all my reading, particularly within the youth ministry field, and stories I have heard from NPBC I have been encouraged. I walked away from my ministry at NPBC in August tired, weary, and feeling as though I failed in so many ways. I felt I did not clearly cast my vision, prepare my team, train mentors and volunteers effectively, or show my students what it means to be a “family,” see a need and meet it, and follow God at all costs. However, in taking a God-required sabbatical from youth ministry to pursue further education I have been refreshed, encouraged, and revived. In fact, many of the things I did were right! I was by no means perfect, but for a first-timer I was on the right track. I learned a great deal of valuable lessons during my time at NPBC and I have gained even more since I arrived at Talbot. If, and when, God does call me to church ministry I feel better prepared and encouraged that I do have something to contribute. I am foundationally skilled at transforming a ministry from frail and floundering to faithful and “family-like.”


Buy Sustainable Youth Ministry

--Megan

Reading During the Super Bowl

I mean really, who finishes reading a book during THE GAME?


The “Super Bowl” just isn’t the “Super Bowl” without a house full of teenagers, children, and their families. This year was quite different from years past. Chris and I sat in the living room all alone (even Mo didn’t join us). I made popcorn and read a book while watching the game and Chris fried some mushrooms and zucchini. It was rather anti-climatic. There was no checking stats at half-time to award door prizes, no arguing over the last snacks, no random hall sliding, no laughter, no opening devotion, nothing. It felt strange. Calm. Quiet. Empty. Lonely. I mean really, who finishes reading a book during the game?

I missed the friendly taunting that takes place as one group’s team scores to take the lead or an exciting play arouses the group with cheers, boos, and chatter. I missed printing off 15+ guessing sheets and shopping for silly prizes. I missed cooking wings, chicken nuggets, mini-pizzas, cookies, brownies, and other goodies all afternoon. I missed that sick feeling you get from eating way to much junk food in the place of a decent dinner and following it with incessant, uncontrollable laughter. I missed cleaning up half the night following the party. In short, I missed the chaos.

This year was just different. I watched the game. Worked on some homework. Did P90X. Ate dinner. Got ready for bed. Wrote this post. And went to bed . . . Thinking of all the people and all the fun I so deeply missed. How I cherish those memories!

--Megan

D-Day Minus...

What a crazy past few days!  Things have been quite hectic since my last update, so I'll take some time to try and fill you in.  I'll break it down day-by-day to make it more simplistic for anyone who may be reading to follow and for me to remember.  So here goes....

Friday, July 30th

With the final days before the move closing in much quicker than we may have anticipated or expected, we hurried ourselves to finish packing, but not at the expense of what was truly important; spending time with the ones we loved the most.  Megan's mom and sister were staying with us, and were huge helps in the packing of our stuff!  That night, the youth came over for an impromptu movie night.  We watched Avatar and just enjoyed each other's company.  I've been so impressed at how these youth have handled this situation up to this point.  They have shown maturity beyond their years and really have a grasp of what it means to do God's will.  I really hope that out of our move, that these wonderful youth can look to us as an example (regardless of whether it is a good or bad example) and trust God will take care of them throughout their lives as long as they follow His will.

Saturday, July 31st

This was the day designated as our last official youth event.  The youth asked for, and Megan prepared another one of her "famous" scavenger hunts.  Although for this one, we did a "How well do you know Megan and Chris" scavenger hunt.  The youth met and were divided up into teams and then departed for many different locations around the greater Gaffney area.  We all met at Fatz (the traditional youth dinner place for special occasions) and again, it was great just to spend some time together as a youth family. 

For many (okay, for the few) who might read this, let me try to put into words exactly what it means to be a youth family.  Megan and I have been blessed to be a part of a small, but extremely close group of teenagers and their parents.  While small in numbers, this group is extremely big in heart.  When Megan first arrived, even though they had all been together basically from birth, they just weren't that close.  This group really has come together over the past year or so, and I attribute that to the joint experiences of this group.  We as a youth family have gone through a lot of ups and downs, and through it all, we have come to learn that we can rely on each other.

This is what I believe is important for a church to achieve, a sense of family.  We are all one in the body of Christ and the church family should be there for its members through the ups and downs.  Too often though, at least in my experiences, churchs are so factionalized and have so many cliques that we lose the sense of oneness.  It almost becomes a competition between the groups to see who can grab the most power or have the biggest impact that even if you don't move forward, if you can simply stop the progess of the other group you win, when in fact, the whole church loses.  This is one of the things that I absolutely LOVE about my youth family.  They get that if one suffers, they all suffer.  When one succeeds, they all succeed, and when one struggles, they will rally to that persons aid, hold them accountable, and sometimes just sit "shivah" with them.

Our Youth Family (minus just a few)

Sunday, August 1st

This is the day that we have been dreading.  Even harder than the move would be for us, I think we both knew all along that the hardest thing would be saying "Goodbye" to the youth and to the church as a whole at New Pleasant.  The morning service was emotional to say the least.  It touched my heart to see the youth get up there one by one and tell not just us, but the entire church about the things that they have learned, experienced, and shared in during the past four plus years.  I always love when the youth dominate a church service, because too often they get viewed as being the "Church of Tomorrow".  While true that they will be the members of tomorrow, we can not discount their impact on churches today.  Churches need to realize what a valuable tool and asset these young people can be if they will simply take the time to develop and nurture them.  Put them in a position to take a chance, and if they mess up, have someone there to pick them up, dust them off, and point them in the right directions.  Now that would be a healthy church...

After the service ended, the church gave us a lunch in our honor.  That, with the love offering that was taken up was greatly appreciated.  It will come in handy on our journey. We stayed up late, until 2:30 am finishing packing as much as we could.  Tired and worn out, we went to bed for the last time in the parsonage.  (To be continued...)

Traditions

It has been a long couple of weeks...

Our yard sale was a pretty good success.  For as hot as it was, we were able to sell most of our stuff, and have made around $450 so far for our trip.  We still have a few things left to try and sell, but that will help cover some of the costs of our journey.

Last week, we ventured up to Lynchburg, Virgina for the Mission Connections Celebrations camp with our "youth family".  This has been one of the annual trips we take with our youth, and an awesome place to see God at work.  It was a tiring week, but one filled with many good times, laughter, memorable quotes, and even some tears.

When we returned, the next night we had our last game night with the youth.  Who knew you could have so much fun just sitting around playing the Wii until 1:30 in the morning.  Then, yesterday, the youth threw Megan and I a "surprise" going away party.

The past three to four years have been filled with countless events such as these, yet each are different and special in there own way.  The thing about many of these events is that they have become traditions in our family of youth. 

Today, Megan and I somehow got into a discussion about dumb traditions vs. good traditions.  It seemed very fitting that we had that discussion, because so many of the tradititons in our lives will come to an end, for at least some years.  Thinking simply about the youth, there are so many traditions that have developed.  Here is a list of just a few....

• Christmas shopping for needy families
• Switcheroo dinner and crazy water on New Years (not to mention staying until 1 or 2 to watch whatever crazy stunt is on ESPN that year)
• game nights
• blitz weeks
• graduation dinners at Fatz
• Mission nights
• Harbor of Hope on Thanksgiving
• MC2 camp

While to many outsiders, and even members at the church, many of these may seem like silly, dumb traditions.  Yet, the thing we often forget after many years of doing something, is that it is a tradition for a reason.  I think sometimes we continue to do some of the things in our lives because it helps us remember the past and where we came from.  I think back to some of the firsts on those lists, and it takes me back...  I see how much the youth have changed, grown, matured, and I realize just how much they have changed and impacted my life. 

Whenever you try to follow God's will for your life, it never will be easy.  Too often I think we feel entitled as Christians to have the easiest path possible.  I mean, if we are doing what God wants us to, why should it be difficult, but we are never promised that.  All that we are guaranteed, is that God will never leave us.

On the ride back from Lynchburg, I was listening to a sermon series by Andy Stanley.  Something he said really stuck out.  Stanley said, "Even though God may be silent, doesn't mean that God is absent."  Think about that for a second...  How many times do we automatically assume if we don't get an answer automatically that God must have left us.

This trip to California will not be easy.  There will be many trials, tribulations once we arrive.  Still, regardless of what happens when we get there, one of the most difficult tasks through this whole ordeal is leaving the lives we have here.  There are amazing kids in our lives here... all the students that have touched my life at Chesnee High School mean the world.  I could not have asked for a better first school to teach at.  However, the kids that I love the most are my youth family at New Pleasant.  They can never be replaced, and I know they will always have a piece of our hearts. 

Traditions serve a purpose in all of our lives... they help us remember the past, and keep the memories of the ones we love the most dear to our heart.  Traditions always seem to come to an end, and new traditions will be made, but that doesn't mean we can't miss the old traditions and the people they involved.