This week for some reason I've really missed the "old" life. It isn't like anything is wrong here, or that things are going poorly. I just have missed my home more than usual this week. Part of it is following posts of former students and seeing about the "happenings" at Chesnee and what is going on in their lives. After three years at the school, this years seniors was the group that I have known since they got to Chesnee. Last years graduating class was probably the group I was closest to in my short time there, because many of them I had in my first few classes at Chesnee. The great thing about teaching is you get an opportunity to see kids grow and develop, and that is just what I had done with the Class of '11 at Chesnee. Now I must watch them cross the finish line from a long way away.
I am horrible at keeping up with friends. I always have been, and most likely always will. By nature, I'm not an extreme extrovert...and while I don't consider myself an introvert either, I'm not someone who goes out seeking contact. I enjoy time to myself, but really enjoy quality time with those I respect and love. Maybe I need to do a better job of that, but one of my biggest fears during these three to four years is that I will lose touch with some of the people that Megan and I have grown closest to. It has happened with many of my closest friends from high school, and starting to happen with some of my friends from college. To all of those people, I am sorry. Now, I can't use the excuse that they live just an hour away and at any point, we might decide to hang out. I must be more intentional about cultivating these relationships that I care so much about.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
A Few Good Men
I have officially completed a full week (almost 2 at this point) of classes! And with ~30 required chapters of reading, 5 written assignments, ~10 chapters of “optional reading,” and ~14 pages of reading notes down I’m ready to do it all over again this week!
Aside from all the reading and work, I really do like most of my classes and I’m adjusting, fairly well, to the work load. However, as I read, take notes, study, and complete assignments my mind constantly goes to my international student colleges. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for them! Some of the reading is well beyond my knowledge base . . . and let’s not even discuss vocabulary! The internationals among me here at Talbot, and across the globe, have my utmost respect! I know I couldn’t do what they are doing and am beyond grateful that I have accredited institutions of higher learning that I can attend in my native tongue.
Classes and educational ponderings aside I am finding it more difficult than I anticipated to adjust on a relational level to those around me. Those of you that know me well know that I am, at my core, an introverted person. I take longer than the average person to open up and I certainly do not like putting myself in uncomfortable social situations. With such introversion in mind, many of the individuals in my program are, well, significantly older than me; which is not all together an issue it just makes finding quality friends (within the same life-stage) more challenging. At the same time, it seems awkward to participate in the MDiv/MA program’s social activities because, well, I’m not in those programs! It really puts me in an awkward place. I know it seems trivial but things just shouldn’t be this problematic. However, as I ponder such things I am forced to reflect back upon my transition from undergraduate studies to MDiv studies and from MDiv studies to the present . . .
My first semester of MDiv work I was caught in the middle of two worlds . . . Undergrad life and graduate life. I was in the MDiv classes but still “supposed to be” in the undergraduate world (if you don’t know, I finished my undergrad work in December of my senior year and began my master’s work in January). It took me nearly a year to fully adjust to the change in educational status. My first semester of MDiv work I avoided all things MDiv related, because it was awkward. I didn’t know the people. I didn’t fit in with them. I felt so much younger! And I am not good at making the extra effort! Thankfully, a “few good men” (Stuart and Mike) stepped up to be my friends and drug me, sometimes kicking and screaming, to functions that forced me to meet new people and step outside of my comfort zone. Ultimately, my sophomore year I decided to go on the Holy Land trip and that pushed me over the edge. I got to know some new people I didn’t know previously and developed some great friendships that got me through my final year of Div school . . . My regret is that it took me so long to develop those friendships!
As I graduated I, again, felt awkward in the next phase of my life. Adjusting to life without school and friends all around me, on a regular basis, was hard. And now, I find myself at the next juncture in my journey. I hope a “few good men” (or women) will come my way and help me though the awkwardness of it all . . .but I fear if I don’t grow up, step out, and force myself into situations of discomfort I may find good friends later in my journey than necessary (or not at all).
With all that said, those of you that are my friends---thanks! I know I don’t always keep in touch like I should but know I think of you often and really do treasure the gift that you are! Those that are yet to enter my life----be patient with me, like the “few good men” of my past, I’ll come around.
--Megan
Aside from all the reading and work, I really do like most of my classes and I’m adjusting, fairly well, to the work load. However, as I read, take notes, study, and complete assignments my mind constantly goes to my international student colleges. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for them! Some of the reading is well beyond my knowledge base . . . and let’s not even discuss vocabulary! The internationals among me here at Talbot, and across the globe, have my utmost respect! I know I couldn’t do what they are doing and am beyond grateful that I have accredited institutions of higher learning that I can attend in my native tongue.
Classes and educational ponderings aside I am finding it more difficult than I anticipated to adjust on a relational level to those around me. Those of you that know me well know that I am, at my core, an introverted person. I take longer than the average person to open up and I certainly do not like putting myself in uncomfortable social situations. With such introversion in mind, many of the individuals in my program are, well, significantly older than me; which is not all together an issue it just makes finding quality friends (within the same life-stage) more challenging. At the same time, it seems awkward to participate in the MDiv/MA program’s social activities because, well, I’m not in those programs! It really puts me in an awkward place. I know it seems trivial but things just shouldn’t be this problematic. However, as I ponder such things I am forced to reflect back upon my transition from undergraduate studies to MDiv studies and from MDiv studies to the present . . .
My first semester of MDiv work I was caught in the middle of two worlds . . . Undergrad life and graduate life. I was in the MDiv classes but still “supposed to be” in the undergraduate world (if you don’t know, I finished my undergrad work in December of my senior year and began my master’s work in January). It took me nearly a year to fully adjust to the change in educational status. My first semester of MDiv work I avoided all things MDiv related, because it was awkward. I didn’t know the people. I didn’t fit in with them. I felt so much younger! And I am not good at making the extra effort! Thankfully, a “few good men” (Stuart and Mike) stepped up to be my friends and drug me, sometimes kicking and screaming, to functions that forced me to meet new people and step outside of my comfort zone. Ultimately, my sophomore year I decided to go on the Holy Land trip and that pushed me over the edge. I got to know some new people I didn’t know previously and developed some great friendships that got me through my final year of Div school . . . My regret is that it took me so long to develop those friendships!
As I graduated I, again, felt awkward in the next phase of my life. Adjusting to life without school and friends all around me, on a regular basis, was hard. And now, I find myself at the next juncture in my journey. I hope a “few good men” (or women) will come my way and help me though the awkwardness of it all . . .but I fear if I don’t grow up, step out, and force myself into situations of discomfort I may find good friends later in my journey than necessary (or not at all).
With all that said, those of you that are my friends---thanks! I know I don’t always keep in touch like I should but know I think of you often and really do treasure the gift that you are! Those that are yet to enter my life----be patient with me, like the “few good men” of my past, I’ll come around.
--Megan
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Doppelgangers
As I start my second week at Riverside Poly this week (and a short week at that...thank you Labor Day!), it is beginning to hit me that I have the same students as I had last year. I know what you are thinking, I live on the other side of the country, went from rural to outside L.A., it couldn't be any different. And you are right, cultures are completely different. However, as I've started to get to know some of my kids and see their personalities, they as individuals remind me so much of students that I've had in the past or even some of my friends. Some of them being eerily similar.
School is going well. Still trying to adjust to the new school, learn the new rules, both formal and informal, and mainly trying to get use to this crazy schedule. It still makes no sense to me why on earth they offer a class at 6:55 AM! It is no wonder that I have a ton of tardies in that class. I can't say that I blame them. I really enjoy the AP classes, the kids are pretty cool. Teenagers never cease to amaze me at how well they can adjust and adapt to a new situation.
It will take some time, and I will always miss Chesnee. Even though I was only there three years, it was the kind of school that I could have saw myself at 20 or 30 years down the road. It was the kind of school where I could have grown and developed as the teacher and mentor to teenagers that I want to be. Just like a kid that moves, now I need to back up, pause, and find my new niche here. I hate not being involved in anything outside of school, but I have my plate full. Plus, adding on a two hour commute round trip is going to make it even harder and more of a sacrifice to get involved, but, things will improve, and I am confident I will find some way to get involved. That is just my nature.
Until then, I'll cling to the doppelgangers in my classes. They remind me of a past world, one I still dearly miss. And these doppelgangers will ease the transition. Slowly, while I won't forget of the doubles on the East Coast, they won't be the first thing that comes to mind when I see my students, and I will think of their West Coast partners first. Then, they will no longer be each other doppelgangers in my mind, but they will hold their own special place in my life.
School is going well. Still trying to adjust to the new school, learn the new rules, both formal and informal, and mainly trying to get use to this crazy schedule. It still makes no sense to me why on earth they offer a class at 6:55 AM! It is no wonder that I have a ton of tardies in that class. I can't say that I blame them. I really enjoy the AP classes, the kids are pretty cool. Teenagers never cease to amaze me at how well they can adjust and adapt to a new situation.
It will take some time, and I will always miss Chesnee. Even though I was only there three years, it was the kind of school that I could have saw myself at 20 or 30 years down the road. It was the kind of school where I could have grown and developed as the teacher and mentor to teenagers that I want to be. Just like a kid that moves, now I need to back up, pause, and find my new niche here. I hate not being involved in anything outside of school, but I have my plate full. Plus, adding on a two hour commute round trip is going to make it even harder and more of a sacrifice to get involved, but, things will improve, and I am confident I will find some way to get involved. That is just my nature.
Until then, I'll cling to the doppelgangers in my classes. They remind me of a past world, one I still dearly miss. And these doppelgangers will ease the transition. Slowly, while I won't forget of the doubles on the East Coast, they won't be the first thing that comes to mind when I see my students, and I will think of their West Coast partners first. Then, they will no longer be each other doppelgangers in my mind, but they will hold their own special place in my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)