Monday, October 4, 2010

The Hunt is Still On...Sort Of

Atmosphere: overall appearance, smell, temperature, friendliness of the people.

Sounds: music, volume, chatter, noises of the people.
Surroundings: lighting, style, comfort, people.
Navigability: parking situation, church building, sanctuary, helpfulness of the people.
Worship: style, format, sounds, visuals, music, sermon, staff . . .

On and on and on I could go . . . . You see how many times people is up there?

All of these things, and many more, factor into your first impression of a church. Many leaders, staff members, and pastor’s should take a moment to reflect on all of these items. Do we plan our services with visitors in mind? Do we structure our services, our space, our plans (our Sunday’s in general) with new eyes, ears, and hearts in our periphery or on our radar at all? All these questions, and so many more, have been running rampant through my mind as we visit and worship at new places. Sadly, I must confess, many of these things never really crossed my mind until recently. And, I imagine, they don’t cross the minds of many ministers around the globe----maybe, just maybe, that’s one of the many things that’s wrong with our churches today?

In light of my ponderings I have also become more critical of the “church experience.” I have not “chosen” a church in years (because I believe God called me to churches to serve in previous years and the churches, essentially, chose me) and now that I have the choice I expect much more than I previously expected out of the “church experience.” I shamefully enter with an eye of critical skepticism and find it increasingly difficult to worship when I’m constantly evaluating: the music, the surroundings, the programs, the service opportunities, the sermon, the staff, the people around me, the whole package. And quite frankly, as many of you reading this know well, it is nearly impossible to fairly and affectively judge a church after just one visit--but it is how most people do it! Churches get one chance. One Chance!

And so, our critical search began August 8. Since that first church we have been to seven others (skipping one Sunday--August 22--to receive our belongings from the movers)! The following eight churches are the one’s we have visited either by stumbling across them online or receiving recommendations from friends, professors, or my classmates:

Redeemer Baptist Church
Greenhills Baptist Church
Whittier Hills Baptist Church
Mosaic of Whittier
Eastside Baptist Church
Calvary Baptist Church
Grace Evangelical Free Church
Whittier Area Community Church

Some we liked, some we strongly disliked, some we couldn’t find a thing wrong with but knew it wasn’t where we needed to be. Some were filled with incredibly friendly people! Others, not a single individual spoke to us. And many came with the questions and responses that appall me, leaving a sour taste in my mouth and hatred brewing in my heart! Those appalling conversations went something like this:

“Welcome to ____________! My name is ___________.” --Church person
“Thanks, I’m Megan/Chris.” --Us
“Oh, where are you from?” --Church person (bc we apparently have strong accents)
“South Carolina.” --Us
“Oh, wow! What brings you to CA?” --Church person
“I’m going to Talbot.” --Megan
“Oh, you’re going to Talbot?” --Church person (asking Chris)
“No, she’s going to Talbot.” --Chris (pointing to me)
“OH. . .” (look of shock, bewilderment, awe, loss for words). “Are you getting an MA?”
“No, I’m, ahhh, a PhD in Christian Education.” --Me (I hate using that PhD word---it makes people uncomfortable).
“Oh. Well. Great to have you this morning.” --Church person (moves on embarrassed).

I hate these conversations because they are so incredibly awkward. I also hate them because I have to come out of the gate being the “PhD student” (which creates an awkward, unnecessary barrier). Furthermore, I hate such interludes because every time the welcoming, I’m sure well meaning, church individual assumes I am not the student and when he/she realizes I am assumes I’m just getting an MA. Finally, I hate these conversations because Chris loves them and quickly corrects the poor individual with no shame and a healthy dose of pride. In all of this, where, pray-tell, are the moderate church-going Californian’s I spent my whole life hearing about? I’ve yet to meet one. So much for the west coast being the more liberal coast (yet another one of my presuppositions crushed).

After venturing off to all eight of the churches listed above, good experiences, bad experiences, awkward conversations, and all that comes with each, I have chosen a favorite. And although it does not meet some of the expectations I believe it should meet I have come to realize you have to set some things aside for the sake of fellowship, community, and good, quality, unadulterated, sound, orthodox, genuine time of communal worship. Some things are personal and really don’t matter in the larger communal scene. Most people don’t know what they expect or even believe and probably don’t really care what you expect or believe either! So, unless someone asks, I’ll keep my petty concerns to myself and deal. As long as a foundational, core beliefs are not shaken and tampered with, I’ll make it (I have previously). After all, we were made for worship. We were made for fellowship. We were not made to walk this journey alone. And church hopping is walking it alone. It’s tiring, draining, and totally unfulfilling. So, if you are not a part of a healthy, growing, teaching, worship filled church body . . . Please, for your own sake, find one! And if you are a part of a healthy church body . . . Post a comment and tell us your story. What do you love about your church? We’d love to hear some stories!

--Megan